There is a difference between being curious about Judaism and being committed to becoming a Jew. You may be feeling one, or the other, or both at different hours — but it helps enormously to know which is speaking when.
Curiosity wants to learn, to taste, to understand. It is light on its feet and it owes nothing. Commitment is heavier and slower; it is a turning of the whole self, and it answers to people, not only to interest. Both are honest. Neither should be dressed up as the other.
Name what you are feeling honestly. Curiosity asks to be fed; commitment asks to be tested. They are not the same hunger.
The Cost of Confusing Them
When curiosity dresses itself as commitment, you rush. You start speaking of yourself as if a decision were made, you take on what you have not understood, and you risk a kind of self-deception the tradition takes seriously — for intention, kavanah, is meant to be true, not performed.
When commitment hides behind curiosity, you stall. You keep telling yourself you are only looking, when in truth your life has already turned toward this, and you are avoiding the seriousness of saying so. That avoidance is its own way of not being honest with yourself.
Letting the Real Thing Be Tested
Curiosity you can feed yourself — with study, with patience, with respectful reading. But commitment, real commitment to joining the Jewish people, is not something you confirm alone. It is brought to a qualified rabbi and, in time, to a beit din, whose work is to weigh it with you, not for you.
So begin by naming the thing truthfully. Are you hungry to understand, or have you already turned? You may not know yet, and that is allowed. A living teacher can help you tell — which is one of the things a screen can never do.